Feature: 6 Red Flags to Look Out For When Pursuing New Clients

By "Lance Curt"

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed in this publication do not reflect the views of SMPS, the SMPS San Francisco Bay Area Chapter, or even the views of the author if we’re being honest. It’s meant to be a joke. Please don’t cancel us. ChatGPT is already trying to take our jobs.

In many ways, pursuing a new client is a lot like dating. If you’re serious about being in a long-term relationship, ideally you’d like to know whether the feeling is mutual, that you two are compatible, and that your goals and values are aligned.

Sadly, in today’s modern, social media-fueled, app-riddled, catfish-prone dating environment, finding someone to settle down with is easier said than done. Just ask anyone who’s ever tried online dating and they’ll straight up tell you: there are a lot of weirdos out there.

The same is true for clients. As Chris Rock famously said, “When you meet someone for the first time, you’re not meeting them, you’re meeting their representative.” And as Marketers know all too well, if you do a good enough job, no one will notice something’s wrong until it’s too late. No matter how attractive or rich and successful a client may appear, there may be some skeletons lurking in their closet.

Before you slide into someone’s DMs, you might want to take a step back and assess the situation. While we all want to see the best in other people, here are a few telltale signs that shouldn’t be ignored:

1. They’re still seeing their ex
If the person you’re dating is still seeing their ex, it raises a lot of questions. First of all, why? Is it really over between them? Am I being used to make their ex jealous? What am I going to tell my therapist? It may not be a significant issue, but there’s still a chance that your date will drop you like a hot potato when their ex comes a-calling.

That said, all clients have exes. Say you’ve been asked to submit a proposal, but a competing firm that delivered the masterplan or criteria documents is also in the running. You may be at a significant disadvantage or merely a pawn in the client’s sadistic procurement process. It’s not to say that you won’t triumph in the end, but the road is long and full of peril.

2. They live at home with their momma (Oh yes son, I’m talking to you)
While it’s perfectly acceptable in some cultures to live in a multigenerational household (especially in this economy!), it does pose several constraints when it comes to relationships. With the endless barrage of questions about where you two are going, what time you’re coming home, or what you do for a living, your dating life now comes under intense scrutiny from doting parents who, despite their best intentions, can’t seem to mind their own damn business.

If a client is a subsidiary of a larger firm, similar constraints may apply. While you might think that you’re dealing with a client directly, their parent company may beg to differ. Whenever a key decision needs to be made and your client says, “Let me ask corporate,” things tend to get complicated. Are you really dating your client, or is it actually their parent company that you need to woo?

3. They’re looking for a free meal
Look, we get it. Times are hard. But when the person you're dating only sees you as a free meal, that’s a problem. And if said person demands that you take them to a three-star Michelin restaurant and expects you to foot the bill, that’s toxic.

Similarly, clients that require you to give them your best ideas in your proposal or organize a design competition without any mention of a stipend are pretty much asking you to work for free. If the reward outweighs the cost, then by all means go for it. But if you’ve already burned through your projected fee just so you can win a bathroom remodel, you may want to rethink your life choices.

4. They ghost you
As if dating wasn’t hard enough, “ghosting” has become commonplace in today’s modern dating environment. The idea that you actually have to tell someone that it’s just not working out is pretty much passé. Why have that difficult conversation when you can just disappear into the ether, never to be heard from again? All you have to do is not text back. Simple, right?

In the same vein, you’ve probably been ghosted by many a client. How many times have you anxiously waited for them to make a decision, only to find out from someone else that you weren’t selected? Despite your best efforts to reach out to them, they never return your calls. For all you know, they may have gotten back with their ex. Hate to say I told you so, but it is what it is.

4.1 Or worse, they’re actual ghosts
In this age of social media, it’s rare for someone to not have a digital footprint. In fact, it’s a bit concerning if they don’t. Since all is fair in love and war, not being able to stalk your date online (oh come on, we’ve all done it!) leaves you wondering: are they even real?

In our line of business, you’re bound to come across some dodgy clients. When a “developer” who doesn’t have a website, doesn’t have a logo, and only has a Comcast email address to go by comes running to you to build on a thousand acres of real estate in the California boondocks, that should raise some concerns. It’s happened before, so proceed with caution.

5. They rank high on the hot/crazy scale
If you ever followed the wildly entertaining Amber Heard-Johnny Depp fiasco, you definitely understand what it means to rank high on the hot/crazy scale. No matter how attractive, rich, or famous a person can be, there’s only so much crazy you’re willing to put up with. There’s nothing wrong with swinging for the fences, but you know at some point they’re going to key your car.

Many of our clients have a similar reputation. With an endless supply of cash and a real estate portfolio that rivals the colonial prowess of the Roman Empire, these clients can have whatever they want, whenever they want—and you need to deliver. It doesn’t matter if they keep changing their minds or that you weren’t contracted for that particular scope of work, they will blacklist the holy hell out of you from every project possible if you don’t do as they say. Blink twice if you need help.

6. They’re just not into you
Don’t get me wrong, you can like who you like and that’s perfectly okay. But some people just want to waste your damn time (see Flags 1 through 5). Sure, they’ll agree to go on dates with you and hang-out every now and then, but your relationship never goes any further than that. At some point you realize they don’t really like you, they just want the attention. 

Unfortunately, in our world this happens all the time. If the Head of Real Estate at any firm manages to get the Who’s Who of the A/E/C industry to compete on their next big project, they’re going to come up smelling like roses. What’s worse is that if said person already has a favorite in mind and you’re just there for show. Better luck next time.

At the end of the day, going into any relationship involves some form of risk and a measure of uncertainty. While red flags aren’t deal-breakers per se, they do prompt you to pay very close attention to any potential problems. So, trust your gut, do your due diligence, and have an exit strategy that doesn’t involve ghosting. And if it turns out that the person you’re dating is a 10-out-of-10, send us a picture because unicorns don’t exist.


Lance Curt is a Marketing and Communications Consultant, specializing in content development, wordsmithing, and the occasional FAIA recommendation letter. Throughout his decades-long career, he has collaborated with every three-letter firm in the A/E/C industry among many others. He obtained his MFA in Creative Writing from Cornell University and was voted “most likely to own a cat” by his peers two years in a row.